It's Coming . . .

Yeah, I 'll be changing this up relatively soon. new name - new look (which is kinda up right now but i'll see about creating my own) - new direction (well, sorta). They say patience is a virtue. Unfortunately I'm not that virtuous.


For now - Find me on facebook . . . and twitter.

Another Mid-Summer Report

SONG OF THE MOMENT: "Love is a Losing Game" - by Amy Winehouse. So instead of trying to explain why I love this song. I'll just show you . . .


Its a simple song with a simple melody but I love the fact that its still haunting and sad. (I think it helps because I also kinda really believe the lyrics. I'm not saying, i'm just saying . . . you know what I mean?)Such a talented artist who needs to get her frekkin' act together . . .

So now that summer has officially started (I mean the summer solstice was over a week ago but in chicago we try to start it at memorial day weekend . . . its all semantics), its been one full of ups and downs. So lets start with the downers (but its really not that bad).

I've been having issues with the family (well one member, really) the past month and it kind of stinks because I do love my family. I'm not going to go into details but thats probably one factor on why I was a majority of the month of June in a low mood. It's just tough to deal with when you don't want to get involved but kind of get dragged into it.

So dealing with that and just other inconsequential factors (I think the hopeless romantic that lays dormant in an otherwise smarmy and militant facade is getting to me when everyone else is having summer flings and I, alas, am not) really affected my performance at work. I was running late on certain projects and I knew the monthly evaluation was coming up (I have 3 monthly evaluations during the first 90 days of work) so feeling like I was under performing at work and then dreading the evaluation, even prepping myself for the worst - getting laid off. When the day came, I was sweating bullets, especially because I am becoming accustomed to the job and really enjoy myself . . . and in the end I had nothing to worry about. The evaluation came and it came with glowing reviews so I beat myself down for nothing.

I feel the main reason I was also so low is because I have not really been able to train and workout. You know the whole "endorphines make you happy" bit (If you have no clue to what I am referring to, watch "Legally Blonde," then you'll hear the memorable line that I am referring). I finally went to the Sports Medicine Specialist after having certain tingling sensations outside of my left knee and struggling with my left extension in the pool (and just general shoulder pains). To keep what is already going to be a pretty lengthy blog entry short, My IT bands (those are the Iliotibial Bands located on the outside of the legs that run along from the hip all the way down past the knee) are as hard as a brick which is NOT good and my shoulder is suffering from a long lasting tendonitis that is making my left side extremely weak because of extreme overuse. So I was finally given the okay to start running again but its like starting over - and I HATE STARTING OVER! Whereas I was running at least between 6 to 10 miles two to three times a week, its laborious to run 3 miles and its such a slow run, too. Definitely not the pace that I should be at. The worst part, though, is not being able to swim. I was told not to swim for at least 3 weeks (it hopefully ends this Friday). I HATE not being able to swim especially when I'm so motivated by the Olympic Trials right now (Dara Torres, Ms. "I am 41 but can kick those kids half my age's ass anyday. And I'm going to my 5th! Olympic" anyone???)

So here I have started going to Phyiscal Therapy for both my left leg and left shoulder and I'm extremely limited to the amount of weights I can do (Only being able to do certain leg, triceps and back so long as I don't do any lifting that required going overhead) and restarting my running program so late in the season. I've already had to cancel a couple of races and at costs I can't recoup. I'm not going to lie, I feel fat and extremely UNattractive right now and feel utterly embarrassed by my appearance. And dealing with what I have to go through to find someone specials, it all plays against my favor and makes me feels extremely depressed about it. I'm really hoping that once I start up again, its going to be a fast track back to where I was last year and hopefully get me back to the racing shape I need to be in to compete!

So not to make this Pity Party last for the whole short summer season here, and the good part about my going-ons, I have to say I have such amazing friends and the best time with them. Knowing I feel ugly and just down right pretty salty lately, they know how to get my going and make sure I'm actually having a fun summer - which I am. Here are some pictures to demonstrate:

Staying focused during Volleyball matches over the July 4th weekend.

Enjoying ourselves at a 4th of July BBQ

RJ and I celebrating pride in our 70's Basketball Uniforms (and rocking the 'Fro)

My Hi-Tops girls and I at the BBQ

Annie and I waiting for the next competition at Beer Olympics '08!

So thanks to my friends for keeping me sane and making sure that this summer of NON-love is not a complete bust. Until next time . . .

Migs

Another Memorial Day Weekend Past . . .

SONG OF THE MOMENT: "Time Between Trains" - by Susan Werner - So I've been listening to this song alot lately. It helps that it was written and performed by an amazing singer-songwriter whom I'm glad to call a friend. Its folky and very stream of consciousness and I love all the lyrics. You should check my friend out by searching for her on ITunes!

Sorry about the less and less frequent posts. But now that I have such a set schedule it should hopefully be easier to fit time in at night to write a little something, either about something dumb or posting a training session or my ideals on music. But I digress . . .

So last weekend was Memorial Day weekend and I have to say that it was probably one of the most exhausting weekends I've ever had to deal with. Because my sleeping cycle has been set, no matter what day it is I can't sleep beyond 8 am (i usually get up around 6:15). Let's just say that what should be a nice relaxing weekend ended with me like a chicken with its head cut off. I'd get up go to training or volleyball, meet friends out for lunch, go back to finish training. meet up with friends again, hang out until 2:30 in the morning get drunk out of my mind.

By Monday, I went to the Cubs game but the bad part was there were periods where I would doze off drinking a beer. Not good since I love my Cubs games. Immediately after the game, I had to stop by my friend Katie's BBQ and that at least made me get my second wind. But I got home around 9pm, passed out on the couch and finally went to bed at around 11am.

So with lack of sleep fully in tow, the work week found me often dozing off after lunch. Not a good impression but it does get tiring staring at computer screen all day. I was so tired in fact that I had skipped 3 days of training after work. There was no way my body could handle swimming 2 miles, running 8 miles, biking for 2 hours, lifting, or a combination of all workout. And I have literally have 2 weeks before Ironman Kansas 70.3.

Anyway I will say it was great seeing all the friends that come in this weekend since this is the only time I ever see them and meeting also new friends who I hope will stay in contact. Below are a few photos from that weekend.

Me, Tom, Janet and Jamie at the Cubs game

Terron, Me and Nate

Me, Derek, and Katie at Katie's BBQ

Okay it's time for bed. I'll write again this week showing pictures of the set from the new Johnny Depp film, Public Enemies and tell you about the drunken party that we love to call "fraternity brothers getting married!" Until then . ..

Another Dreaded Week . . .

SONG OF THE MOMENT: "Sexy Can I" - by Ray J feat. Yung Berg
As much as this week is another one I'm really starting to hate, I have to admit, I'm in love with this raunchy, misogynistic groove. I find myself dancing along, shaking my ass, singing the lyric (which I especially love) " Sexy, Can I visit you at work / while you're sliding down the pole, no panties, no shirt / Then you climb back up the pole, then you drop and do the split / how you make that pussy talk, baby damn, you want some new shit?" LOL! LOVE IT!

So can we talk? I mean it really can't be too long because I'm writing this at work but let me catch you up on a few things and then I'll vent for a few about this dreaded week and the most hateful day of all.

The trip to NY was great as it always is. No fender bender this time, especially since I wasn't the one driving and I placed 33 out of 700+ participants in the Memorial Run. Not bad, but I am stuck at finishing around the same time for the past few years which is slightly frustrating. Its this damn thick-ass thighs and ghetto booty. But congrats to my best gal-pal Janet for winning the whole women's division of the race. She definitely deserves it and I am extremely proud of her.

Speaking of thunder thighs, I also purchased a bunch of cloths in NYC from my favorite store, Uniqlo. Now buying jeans is not easy for me. I have a 29 inch waist (28 on a good day when I'm not bloated) but I tend to have a thicker leg than most. So I'm trying on all these jeans which are suppose to fit my waist. The problem is, I can't get them up past my mid point of my thighs. I can't even jump up and down to make them move further up. I had to settle for a pair of regular fit boot cut jeans, at a waist size of 31 and those still don't fit my big bottom half . . . I hate shopping.

So now to the big story. First off, I hate this week. Why do you ask? Well because it the day that I hate most is this week. MY BIRTHDAY! Now it has nothing to do with age, I could care less if I get older. Its has more to do with the fact that the day of my birth has never been a real positive one. My 18th went by without some fanfare that you would think, love the family for that one (and I didn't get the computer I was promised). My 21st found me stuck in an emergency fraternity meeting because the university cited us for "gay bashing" (ironic, huh?) and the party that I planned myself for my 25th was, to say the least, disappointed especially when all the people who said they would show up didn't even come. So yeah I am extremely disappointed by that day and try not to have any celebratory occasion even though deep down I'd like one. But we can dream, can't we? And all these people are asking about what we are going to do for my birthday and I really don't want to do shit just because I know I'll always end up being disappointed! Sounds like my love life. LOL! Let's just say the sooner the day passes, the happier I'll be. Always the eternal optimist.

So if this week wasn't bad enough, I was rushing to catch my transfer yesterday at the Clark / Lake stop on the "EL" and as I ran to jump on the train and feel my pockets, I lost my god-damned phone . . . AGAIN! And I couldn't jump off and check because the doors of the train had already closed. I can't catch a fucking break! And again everyone is telling me to be positive because they have lost phones and got it back . . . but I never do! Maybe, I'm the one giving myself the bad karma. Oh, and my watched died this morning. FUN TIMES!!!!!!!! So send me your contact info again because I'm going to need it when Sprint ships me out a new one . . . whenever that will be.

Yeah, I know, this blog is kind of bitchy. I'm just in a really bad and surly mood. Hopefully things will get better. What goes down has to go up eventually, right? On the lighter note, I read my HS alumni newsletter and funny thing is, when they were talking about high school memories, they mentioned my current employer, World's Finest. That made me smile. I've also attached a picture of a happier time. It was gloomy and overcast, cold and rainy but it was Cubs Opening Day and I never miss it. I love my baseball games and enjoyed every minute of it. Good Times. Anyway, I'll update again soon.

Until then . . ..

migs

Another Update after a long break . . .

Hey everyone,

So I do have to apologize for not keeping up with the blog. I will admit things got quite boring and then I got too busy. But I promise to at least write something even if it is small. So I feel I should update, but I'll try and keep this short.

It really was one hell of the past two weeks.

The GOOD NEWS: I am back in coporate america (using my degree no less) and am back on salary. Even better, I have benefits! So no more worrying about paying for things out of my own pocket and how I would do it if anything really drastic happened.

But just like everyone knows, the Higher Power definitely has a wicked sense of humor. The following week after my first full week of work, was a complete downer. Besides seeing someone unexpected that weekend, I was told that my roommate was going to give the dog we have to his parents since we both no longer have the time to take care of him, which is not what I want (and he secretly blamed me, I know he did!)

But the "Coup de Grace," was when I called my mom on monday and she told me the family dog, Tundra (the picture you see above), had passed away after 15 years. Now it's silly to see someone get so emotional about a pet, but he was definitely more than just a pet. He was a part of the family for so long. And my mom felt guilty that she would get annoyed very easily with him but she did love him . She even told me a few days later that she really has been crying alot because the dog was always around keeping her company when everyone was gone from the house, so she really did love him. Two weird things, the dog died on my sister's birthday. Now you would think that just bad luck but what makes it weird is the fact that she got the dog for her birthday 15 years ago. The weirdest thing was the dream I had the night before. I dreamed the dog had visited me in Chicago. I mean he literally walked all the way from my parents place in WV to my apartment in Chicago even though he was in extreme pain. So in the dream I let him in, did my best to carry his heavy body to the bath and clean him, and even though he was clean, he was still having trouble using the bathroom and bleeding, so all I did was lay down with him and pet and comfort him. Then, I woke up. Thinking back on it now, it really made me cry.

Anyway, I'm in NY right now for a race that I enjoy so much with a good group of friends. Hopefully, that will lighten my heavy heart. I'll keep you updated.

That, and my birthday is coming up. GOD, I hate my birthday . . .

Until next time. . .

Another Single Awareness Day . . .

SONG OF THE MOMENT: "Ex-Factor" - Lauryn Hill - This was a tough choice but I keep coming back to her lyric saying " Cause no one's hurt me more than you and no one ever will" Stay strong my sista . . . LOL! Doesn't mean I'm feeling the same way right now. I'm actually in a decent good mood. I just pulled if from AOL Spinner's "Top 20 Meanest Love Songs" and somehow it just felt appropriate. LMAO

So its pretty much my least favorite "holiday" per se as many of you know me especially because I don't acknowledge its existence (I will argue, pretty damn well if I might add, that this really is a false holiday and i'm sure St. Valentine would be rolling in his grave over what a day in his honor has become) SO TO EVERYONE, HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY.

I don't want to dwell on the topic of this most horrendous of holidays since many of you know how I feel. Now it doesn't mean I'm some heartless git. When I showed my roommate the article about the bride who died during her first dance at her wedding, he said something along the lines that there is a semblance of a heart in that black hole. What can I say, I'm a secretly a softie who secretly love rom-coms. BUT DON'T GO SPREADING THAT SHIT AROUND! And I'm not in some shitty depressed mood contrary to my hatred of this day. I'm actually in a good mood as I mentioned above. It might be because I know I'll go out tonight and celebrate with other V-D hating people or that I leave for New York City in 48 hours . . . THANK GOD!! But I digress . . .

So back to whats been going on with me. I injured myself on Monday during routine kickboxing drills. It was something so simple too and I just felt a pop (well more like a click) in the area between the gluts and hamstring in my right leg. But being the stubborn competitor that I am, I had planned on doing my cycling and running workout on Tuesday, even when a few of my friends told me to take it easy. Just in case, I went to talk to the resident Physical Therapist at my gym. After a quick examination, he told me NOT to cycle and no kicking. I can jog when I stop limping and give the injury a rest. Luckily he said I can swim. He told me that I'll risk making it worse to the point where I'll be out the whole season and is that a risk I really want to take. Check Mate. So no leg workouts for a week (and I was doing so well at my track interval workouts too!) but have exponentially increased the intensity and distance in the pool. Its a good thing that my recovery week is approaching too. I will say it been surprisingly easy for me to get back into full training mood. I didn't even realize that I've been spending more and more time at the gym until this week. And I have noticed that I'm starting to lean up again. So hopefully by late March I'll be close to racing weight. Too bad. I was kind of enjoying building some muscle. I'll keep you posting as training continues, maybe I'll even start posting how my typical workout / training goes.

I had an amazing time last weekend for my friend Karin's surprised birthday party. The picture above is the boxing / kickboxing crew at her birthday party. It was so much fun and the fact that the bartender called me a pussy for slowing down on my beer (which was a heavy beer might I add) was kind of funny . . . and its probably why I don't remember how I got home. Funny how alcohol works.

So seeing as how I lost my train of thought which is very typical of me, I leave you with these quotes just to show I'm not completely an asshole about love. I read these off of another persons blog but I feel its fitting for me to repeat just so we all can have a positive attitude when deep down you might feel the opposite.

"No man is worth crying over, and the one that is would never make you cry alone !!"

"Don't leave the one you love for the one you like cause the one you like will leave you for the one they love !"

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel."

So until next time . . .

Another Dull Saturday

SONG OF THE MOMENT: "Hollywood Swinging" by Kool and the Gang - because its a great funk song and it reminds me of going to roller rinks when i was a kid . That and I'm not going to lie and say I'm not excited for America's Best Dance Crew , because the team BreakSk8 is going to win it all!

I'm so fuckin' in love with "Rock Band" that I might actually fork over the close to $200 bucks to buy my own for the PS2 (i don't plan on getting a PS3 or XBox 360, what do I look like Mr. Moneybags??) I had a low key night last night when my friend invited me over for a games night. It was definitely a lot better than me out trolling boystown for that next potential trick which actually rarely happens in the first place. And like I posted earlier in the week, I'm really doing my best at avoiding most social settings dealing with gay men. Not worth my time . . .
But I digress. To put it short and simple, I stayed until 4 a.m. rocking out on the drum set feeling like a rock star (according to my friends, since I had it on the simpliest level, I'm 99% easy!) giving rhythm to songs from Soundgarten, Nine Inch Nails, the Yeah Yeah Yeah, and other rockin songs (c'mon rapping along to "Epic" by Faith No More, fuckin' awesome! and Creep really is a great depressing song!!) I'm itching to really buy a drum set and learn to play. Nothing like beating on a bunch of cylinders to get all frustration out!

So I got home at 4:30 in the morning and got up 4 hours later to do the track workout that was meant for Thursday. My friend and I finished it but I will say that it kicked my ass in more ways than one. and I still have the problem of starting out to fast and wasting all the energy too early. I need to learn to build my momentum instead of losing it. Kind of reminds me of the Ohio State Football Teams in the National Championships . . . (and as Buckeye fan, that was a true but low blow!)

And now I'm bored out of my fuckin' mind right now. Lord knows I need some action but maybe I just need to wind down. My friend is going to pick me up soon so I can indulge on an unhealthy diet of Wendy's and the best damn cupcakes from Sweet Mandy B's. I know, I know, I shouldn't be eating like this especially when I start training hardcore again, but its my body and if I want to riddle it with heart-clogging cholesterol I'll do as I damn please . . . until I feel guilty an hour later. Oh, well . . .

So until I have something more interesting to inform on or rant on, I'll bid adieu for now.

Until next time . . .